One problem that is fairly consistent throughout your proposal is your use of “their” when referring to a single patient. This is a very common mistake, since “their” has the benefit of being gender neutral. But “their” is also plural, so you cannot use it as the possessive for a singular noun. My advice is to alternate using “his” and “her” throughout the proposal.
In the “Promotion” section of your proposal, make sure you outline a definite plan for giving lectures on a book tour. Make it very clear that you’re willing to do all the things you list in order to promote your book. Making a vague point that an unidentified person could give lectures in non-specific places is not saying much at all. Tell the editor/agent where you are willing to tour, what lectures you’re willing to give and where.